Please don't date a serial killer.

Valentines day is fast approaching. I can't go into a store without being assaulted by heart-shaped (the Hallmark kind, not the inside-your-body kind) paraphernalia of the chocolate, paper, glass, etc variety. Everyone's really excited for next Tuesday, and I just don't get it. Why do they need a specific day to show their love to someone special? Admittedly, there was only one Valentine's Day when I was in a relationship. That was last year. We both forgot and then sent sappy stupid cards a bit late. Well...I sent a sappy stupid card. That I spent two hours making and perfecting. He sent a Hallmark card for this Hallmark holiday and signed his name at the bottom. He knew that I was one of those anti-valentines people in high-school, so he thought the cynicism would go over well. It did.

Back on subject.

Everyone's excited except me. Even my single friends can't wait...or maybe they can't wait for the day after when all of the chocolate is 75% off? I know that's what I'm waiting for with bated breath. But this is not a holiday! It does not count! If we don't get off work then it's just another day.

But being a single 20-year-old around this time sucks no matter how truly your singleness is your decision and how much you truly don't care about the damn day. The 14th of February highlights the lovliness of being one half of a couple, and all of those couples are gaga about each other for V-day (at least in public). How am I combatting this self-seclusion from the world of coupledom?
Made for TV movies, a new diet, and lots of ibuprofen.

Made for TV movies: After watching a few of these, there seems to be a trend: Single Mother is trying to find a man for herself, and is almost as worried about her teenage daughter as she is about herself. Mom finds man. Daughter hates him. Man turns out to be a mass-murderer. Or...something of the sort.
The point is, they're all the same.

New diet: This diet isn't about losing weight, it's about being healthy. The amount of chocolate that I consume is gross. As in disgusting. Last night one of my best friends (and her fiance) came to visit, and about half an hour in she started opening all the drawers and cupboards. I asked what she was looking for and she said "I know you have a chocolate stash around here somewhere". Poor girl. No chocolate stash to be found. I never have a chocolate stash, because when I want chocolate I go buy it...and then I eat it. All. No matter how much it happens to be, it's gone within a day. A whole bag of dove chocolates? Sure. A 5oz symphony milk chocolate bar? Why not! But those days have got to go bye-bye. Cuz I just feel nasty.
So I went to livestrong.com and downloaded the app to my phone and now I'm tracking what I eat and how much I exercise. The app gives me a pie graph about the percentage of fat, protein, and carbs that I eat on any given day. It doesn't differentiate between good and bad fats, but it's still cool.

Ibuprofen: Ibuprofen is my drug of choice. I've never had anything near as bad as a migraine, but headaches frequently pounce upon my temple. So I take ibuprofen to combat that. It's a lovely thing, really. They call it "Air Force candy" cuz when you go to the hospital with a complaint they say "broken foot? Here's some ibuprofen", or "You need stitches in your head? Here's some ibuprofen!", or "YOU GOT MAULED BY A BEAR? You'll be alright. Take some ibuprofen".

So yes. Ibuprofen.

What should you take away from this blog post? If you're a single Mom, please don't try to find your soul mate while your teenage daughter is busy having crazy issues and getting impregnated in the back of a truck. He'll turn out to be an axe murderer or something. Not good.

Number of Chipotle burritos this year: 8/52