I don't like when people say things like, “God is going to bless you so much for doing that!”.
I mean...how would they know what the heck God is going to bless someone for?!?!
The way I think about “God's blessings” is that if the Big Man upstairs wants to bless me, he will. When people say thing like that, I feel like I'm only participating in whatever activity in order to get “God's blessing”. Sometimes I feel that whoever is telling me this only does anything good because they feel the need for a blessing.
I mean, we've all got needs. Know how to fulfill them?? Go ahead! Get God's blessing!
But no. Really. Last night I sat with the older lady and talked to her because she looked lonely. Then I wanted out really badly when she told me her life story. There was no “servant's heart” there, just this 20 year old girl who really wanted to go hang out with the friends that kept on walking by. I wish I had wanted to be there, but the reality is that I didn't want to. Fifteen minutes in I wished I hadn't sat down. An hour in I considered faking a phone call. When the lights blinked to tell us to get the heck outta the building I was ecstatic...until she kept talking.
Even if God did want to bless me for sitting and letting a lady - whose name I didn't know until 45 minutes in - talk to me, I don't think I could accept that blessing. If the servant's heart and attitude had been there then sure. I'd accept. I'd have no issue. But there was no heart for the conversation. There was no wanting to be there.
So no. No blessing.
You wanted to leave, but you didn't.
ReplyDeleteYou wanted to fake a phone call, but you didn't.
What you DID do was lend an ear to a person who may have desperately needed to talk.
God used you to fulfill a need at that moment in that woman's life. You fulfilled that need even though you didn't want to. God uses reluctant people to do His work.
And, um, He WILL bless you for it. Deal with it.