just...things.

I'm so..BLEH right now.  I have been pretty much all week.  And it's only Wednesday.  But all day today I thought it was Tuesday, so I don't really truly understand what's going on.
Maybe it's the pizza.
Maybe it's the fact that their are a couple hundred TV channels at my beck and call right now when there aren't usually.
Maybe it's because Pottermore is finally online!

Nope.  That's not "bleh".  I've been über excited about the Pottermore thing.  If you want to add me, my name is StormBlood2158.  Heck yeah.  Ravenclaw FTW.

Anyways...WHY AM I "BLEH"?!
And how is it Wednesday?

Did I go to work on Monday?  Because I remember nothing about Monday.  Nothing at all.  I thought my car was towed Monday morning, but it was definitely Tuesday.  Because I was almost late to the class I was tasked to teach.  BUT I MADE IT ON TIME.  Barely.  Like five minutes before class started.  So yeah.  Monday.  What happened?

I don't understand why I forget things so quickly.  Really quickly.  Because Monday is gone and not here anymore and it's like nothing happened on Monday.

What happened on Monday?

Did you do your taxes?

Guess what I found out yesterday!  It was tax day.
But we got a nice surprise this yearrrrrrrrBAM!  Tax day was pushed back to the 17th of April!  HUZZAH!  So if you haven't done your taxes, you might want to do them.  Like tomorrow.  Reallyreally soon.
I did mine back in February, but recently received an amended W-2 in the mail.  The "corrected" side of it looks exactly like what's on my Turbo Tax documents, so I've chosen to ignore it and see what happens.

I'll let y'all know from jail.

Bahahaha.

What did you spend your tax return money on OR what are you planning to spend it on?  I went on a shopping spree.  It was wonderful and unnecessary.  I'm usually not a big shopper (and go to thrift stores when I do choose to spend money on clothing!), but it was kind of fun to go to an actual MALL and HAVE MONEY TO SPEND.  I'm not used to that.  My Mama raised me too thrifty-minded to spend $30 on one shirt.
But I did it anyways.

And it won't happen again for a veryveryveryveryvery long time.  I can assure you of that.  I felt guilty as soon as I left the store.
But I love everything I bought, so I figure that justifies it.  This year.  Next year I'm taking my sister to the beach with my money.  It'll be her graduation present. :)  I'm glad she picked the beach.  ANNA!  Thank you for picking the beach.  I want to go to the beach NOW though.  So you should graduate early.  Like now.  Like this week.
If that were an option, life would be grand.

Okay.  Goodnight party people.   

Scary Monsters are Scary

Only the last part of this video is relevant to this blog post.

But what makes the scary monsters of our imagination so scary?  What makes anything scary for that matter?

See, I've been thinking about this.  And it's really hard to know the answer.  But I think that all fears lead back to a fear of death.

I'm not scared of the dark; I'm scared of things popping out of the dark and killing me.

You're not scared of snakes or spiders.  You're scared that you'll come across a poisonous one that will kill you.

You're not scared of heights.  You're scared of falling out of the tree and dying.

You're not scared of germs; you're scared of falling ill and dying.

 

Wrote that the other day, but didn't have time to finish. Now that I look over it again, I might not believe it.

I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of living.

I don't have time to write a blog post, but this is what I did last week.

Dad's birthday!

Well, here we are.  Another one of Dad's birthdays, and I'm still a pathetic daughter.  Didn't even get him a card.  I DID write him a song (albeit, a very short one).  So yeah.  There is that.

Sidewalks

Yesterday after work I went for a run.
There's a half marathon on May 6th that my Mother would like me to run with her, so yeah.  That'll probably happen.
So about this run yesterday...everything was hot and muggy.  The heat felt oppresive.  The temperature was only 73.  What am I going to do this summer when the temperature is in the 90's/100's? 
Die.  That's what.
Yesterday's run was supposed to be six miles, but I was beat and dehydrated after three.  How pathetic.  And sad. 
As I was running along, the sidewalk ended.  Not in any normal place either.  The ending was intentional, and where the sidewalk ended, grass started. 
"Where the Sidewalk Ends".  My brother memorized so many poems from that book when we were shorter and less educated.  He would change his voice and mannerisms to fit the characters in the poem. 
My brother is wonderful.

Blessings

I don't like when people say things like, “God is going to bless you so much for doing that!”.

I mean...how would they know what the heck God is going to bless someone for?!?!

The way I think about “God's blessings” is that if the Big Man upstairs wants to bless me, he will. When people say thing like that, I feel like I'm only participating in whatever activity in order to get “God's blessing”. Sometimes I feel that whoever is telling me this only does anything good because they feel the need for a blessing.

I mean, we've all got needs. Know how to fulfill them?? Go ahead! Get God's blessing!

But no. Really. Last night I sat with the older lady and talked to her because she looked lonely. Then I wanted out really badly when she told me her life story. There was no “servant's heart” there, just this 20 year old girl who really wanted to go hang out with the friends that kept on walking by. I wish I had wanted to be there, but the reality is that I didn't want to. Fifteen minutes in I wished I hadn't sat down. An hour in I considered faking a phone call. When the lights blinked to tell us to get the heck outta the building I was ecstatic...until she kept talking.

Even if God did want to bless me for sitting and letting a lady - whose name I didn't know until 45 minutes in - talk to me, I don't think I could accept that blessing. If the servant's heart and attitude had been there then sure. I'd accept. I'd have no issue. But there was no heart for the conversation. There was no wanting to be there.

So no. No blessing.