Functioning

Do more people than not function "normally"?  Is that a thing?  What is "normal"?  Hasn't that always been the question?
I'm pretty sure that I don't function in a "normal" fashion.  I talk to myself far too often (with hand gestures), eat ice cream even though I know it will give me bad gas (don't worry.  I did switch to almond milk), and make uber loads of friends over the internet.
Oh wait.  I think that last one is actually considered "normal" now.  Who knew that would ever happen?
AND THE LAST HOUR OF MY LIFE!  WHERE DID IT GO?
It wasn't even 2100 last time I looked at the clock.  Now it's almost 2200.  Where is time flying off to?
Oh yeah.  The internet.

But...yeah.  If I were to function "normally" for a day, I think it would look like this:
Wake up->Go to work->Come home->Eat food->Hang out with friends->Run->Read a book->Practice guitar->Go to bed.
not all days would look exactly the same...but that would be the general stuffs.
What my days actually look like is this:
Wake up->Drink coffee->Go to work->Drink coffee->Come home->Drink coffee->Youtube->Drink coffee->Blog->Drink coffee->Talk to my fish->Drink coffee->Read a book->Drink coffee->Practice guitar->Drink coffee->Talk to my stuffed animals->Drink coffee->Feed my fish turkey->Drink coffee->Drink a milkshake->Drink coffee->Talk to my computer friends->Drink coffee->Pretend that real people don't exist->Drink coffee->Go outside and look at the sunshine->Go to sleep

Yeah.

What would a "normal" day look like for you?

What does an actual day look like for you?

It's All About the Pity Candy

Single’s Awareness Day

To clarify, Wikipedia tells me that Single's Awareness Day can be celebrated the day before, of, or after Valentine's Day. This blog post is happening the day after. Therefore, I am celebrating on the 15^th this year. I suppose.

Now back to your previously scheduled blog post.

SAD. Look at the words above. They acronym down to SAD. I am single on this day, but I am not sad. I am aware of my singleness, so that makes me SAD, but not sad. You should never be sad about a choice that you made whilst in a sane mind.

Yes. Whilst. Actually, “whilst” was a personal goal of mine for this blog post. Goal fulfilled.

Such is the beauty of a blog post.

Why am I SAD today? Or rather, why am I acknowledging my SADness? I wouldn't have if not for last night. But I'm going to back up. Before the night of the 14^th, there was the night of the 13^th. On the night of the 13^th I had a dream. I had a dream that each and every one of my ex boyfriends (cuz there are sooo many. Right.) died. I was really only sad about the most recent since he and I are still tight. Anyway, I texted the most recent when I woke up and told him that I was sorry that he died in my incredibly odd/sad dream. Not remembering the reason behind his death, I said that it was probably to save the masses. That would be best, right?

So that is the first reason that I am truly SAD on this day. I acknowledged my single status by contacting my ex. There was a valid reason, but still.

The second reason is the pity that I was shown last night by a group of 5-8 year old children. On Tuesday nights I help out with a kid's group at the base chapel. Last Tuesday (7 Feb) there were fliers passed out about the Valentine's theme for this week. After I passed out the fliers, the adorable bunch of misfits gathered around me asking, “What are you and your boyfriend doing for Valentine's Day, Miss Molly?” I told them that I'm single. Boys have cooties, and I don't want cooties! EWWWWWW.
Apparently they saw through my “cooties” speech, because last night more than half of them brought me chocolate or candy. They all said things like, “Well, since you don't have a boyfriend to buy you candy I figured you needed to get it from somewhere”.

These children are way too adorable for their own good.

My favorite were the chocolates with the nutella inside. Who knew such a thing existed in all of creation? CHOCOLATE. With NUTELLA inside. It's almost too much good in one place.

But the point of this is that THEY PITIED ME. A group of insane, bouncy, brooding, dramatic, 5-8 year old’s took pity on me. By bringing me sugar in multiple forms. This made me very aware of my singleness.

Also, the boy that I decided not too awful long ago that I might possibly like had a Valentine today. He made her a rose. Made, not gave. Well, gave too I suppose. But yeah.

All three of these things combined made me way more aware that I'm single then I have been in a long time.

I don't need your pity candy.

Number of Chipotle burritos this year: 10/52

Please don't date a serial killer.

Valentines day is fast approaching. I can't go into a store without being assaulted by heart-shaped (the Hallmark kind, not the inside-your-body kind) paraphernalia of the chocolate, paper, glass, etc variety. Everyone's really excited for next Tuesday, and I just don't get it. Why do they need a specific day to show their love to someone special? Admittedly, there was only one Valentine's Day when I was in a relationship. That was last year. We both forgot and then sent sappy stupid cards a bit late. Well...I sent a sappy stupid card. That I spent two hours making and perfecting. He sent a Hallmark card for this Hallmark holiday and signed his name at the bottom. He knew that I was one of those anti-valentines people in high-school, so he thought the cynicism would go over well. It did.

Back on subject.

Everyone's excited except me. Even my single friends can't wait...or maybe they can't wait for the day after when all of the chocolate is 75% off? I know that's what I'm waiting for with bated breath. But this is not a holiday! It does not count! If we don't get off work then it's just another day.

But being a single 20-year-old around this time sucks no matter how truly your singleness is your decision and how much you truly don't care about the damn day. The 14th of February highlights the lovliness of being one half of a couple, and all of those couples are gaga about each other for V-day (at least in public). How am I combatting this self-seclusion from the world of coupledom?
Made for TV movies, a new diet, and lots of ibuprofen.

Made for TV movies: After watching a few of these, there seems to be a trend: Single Mother is trying to find a man for herself, and is almost as worried about her teenage daughter as she is about herself. Mom finds man. Daughter hates him. Man turns out to be a mass-murderer. Or...something of the sort.
The point is, they're all the same.

New diet: This diet isn't about losing weight, it's about being healthy. The amount of chocolate that I consume is gross. As in disgusting. Last night one of my best friends (and her fiance) came to visit, and about half an hour in she started opening all the drawers and cupboards. I asked what she was looking for and she said "I know you have a chocolate stash around here somewhere". Poor girl. No chocolate stash to be found. I never have a chocolate stash, because when I want chocolate I go buy it...and then I eat it. All. No matter how much it happens to be, it's gone within a day. A whole bag of dove chocolates? Sure. A 5oz symphony milk chocolate bar? Why not! But those days have got to go bye-bye. Cuz I just feel nasty.
So I went to livestrong.com and downloaded the app to my phone and now I'm tracking what I eat and how much I exercise. The app gives me a pie graph about the percentage of fat, protein, and carbs that I eat on any given day. It doesn't differentiate between good and bad fats, but it's still cool.

Ibuprofen: Ibuprofen is my drug of choice. I've never had anything near as bad as a migraine, but headaches frequently pounce upon my temple. So I take ibuprofen to combat that. It's a lovely thing, really. They call it "Air Force candy" cuz when you go to the hospital with a complaint they say "broken foot? Here's some ibuprofen", or "You need stitches in your head? Here's some ibuprofen!", or "YOU GOT MAULED BY A BEAR? You'll be alright. Take some ibuprofen".

So yes. Ibuprofen.

What should you take away from this blog post? If you're a single Mom, please don't try to find your soul mate while your teenage daughter is busy having crazy issues and getting impregnated in the back of a truck. He'll turn out to be an axe murderer or something. Not good.

Number of Chipotle burritos this year: 8/52